by Nicole Roberts

Nicole Roberts, Birds, digital illustration dry brush and nib pen on paper, 13 x 16 inches, 2022. Courtesy of the artist.

Behind the Marks

Nicole Roberts | Apr 2025 | Issue 44

On a morning run by Virginia Lake in Reno, NV, I was captivated by the cluster of pigeons gathered at the water’s edge. As I passed, they lifted into the air, only to settle again nearby. A new patch of ground. And I realized—I do this too.

Nicole Roberts, Birds Study, photography, 2022. Courtesy of the artist.

After a series of personal catastrophes, I spent a year traveling the world, living in a different city each month. I eventually settled in Buenos Aires, Argentina, finding refuge in the tango, the language, the distance. But when I began to feel unsettled there too, I returned to the town where my mother, sister, grandmother, and a close friend lived. I stayed—until a new love lifted me up again, and I landed in San Diego.

This cycle of lifting and landing. Fleeing and grounding. Freaking out and coping. I understood the pigeon—its helplessness, its survival instinct, its constant need for escape and self-soothing. I ran straight into the flock that morning, this time creating the chaos—becoming the maker of the madness. And still, they lifted and settled. Resilient in their rhythm.

To render that feeling, I chose a mid-tone textured paper to hold black shadows and white highlights. It felt like incredible oversimplification—like the absence of color in a moment of trauma. But it felt right. The grit of the paper was tactile, visceral, grounding. But the white. The white highlights popped the birds into dimension and made the black shadows recede, making the birds tangible and have presence. I drew with a crude nib pen that splattered and skipped, and a dry brush. The messy, urgent line screamed emergency and motion. It hit that old wound just right. My visual voice, a salve—empathetic and grounding.

Later, someone commissioned a painting for the living room of an Airbnb property in San Diego called The Birdhouse. The birds in me. They wanted to land again. I expanded the idea—black and white pigeons over a textured background, adding color and abstraction. I recommended lighting, pillows, home accents, and a plant to elevate the mood and create an inviting space and listing. I painted, hung the work, and photographed the space.

It’s deeply satisfying to see it come together—from a place of distress, through healing and creative expression, into something resonant and tangible. Now it lives in a space people pass through, pause in, maybe even feel a little more grounded in. I wonder how many of them feel that lift and grounding. Maybe that’s what draws them there. To land. For a while.

Nicole Roberts, *Birds*, acrylic on canvas, 32 x 72 inch diptych, 2023. Courtesy of the artist.

Nicole Roberts is a multidisciplinary artist based in San Diego, working at the intersection of visual art, design, and portrait photography. With a deep sensitivity to story and form, she translates emotion into color, gesture, and light. Her career spans national brand campaigns for clients like Yahoo, PG&E, Genentech, and California Bank & Trust, as well as years running a Bay Area creative agency. Now the creative director and sole book designer at Jaded Ibis Press, Nicole also creates commissioned artwork for private homes and properties, and is available for portrait photography and select freelance projects.